Inner Wars: Enjoying Eating VS Maintaining Body Weight

Admit it! Everyone is guilty of this dilemma of having to enjoy eating (most of the times unhealthy food) versus the troubling idea of maintaining one's body weight. I guess most, if not everyone, has the desire to fill his stomach with appetizing food but still remain on his "accepted" body weight range.

You are not alone! I, too,weighed as much as 96kg back on 2011 that I looked like a bloated fish that could pop anytime it hits a spike or a sharp object. I tried to do away by chanting to myself I was getting chubby and that I did not look very fat since I'm quite tall (what a lame lie and excuse to myself). However, each time I look at the mirror, I grieve over the roundness my stomach was and the fat buildup on my arms, thighs, and legs. I look horrible. Time came when my self esteem was buried six feet underground that I dare not go out much since I feel ugly. I could not even fit inside my favorite shirts and jeans. I had to do something.

The internet was full of information regarding weight loss that my brain had a hard time processing all data. South Beach diet, Poor Man's Diet, etc. name it, and you get what you want. Eventually, I read came across an inspiration story which tackles on a weight loss program to achieve that desirable body weight.

It said that you had to have the motivation. I exactly had one, to become healthy and live longer (what with all the cardiovascular diseases associated with obesity). I was so motivated that I asked my family members to support me in my venture, wherein they gladly offered the help they could afford. I told them to not eat delicious food in front of me as I might be tempted and that I break my weight loss program. However, I was so desperate to lose weight rapidly that I engaged in crash diets like eating apple for all meals and totally obliterating rice from my diet. I even took weight loss coffee which my body responded really well. It was only 4 months and I had lost beyond 20kg of my body weight. I obviously shrunk from being an extra large to fitting a medium size. 

Now, 2 years has passed an obviously am glad to have lost almost 26kg of unwanted fat and some muscles, too =(. I got so thin I could fit on a small size already, however, my vital stats still make it to the rack size department of modelling (tack about dreaming). Now, I dream to build muscles and develop abs. HAHAHAHAHA. However, I'm in constant war whenever parties and events are up, especially on the start of the Yuletide season--food here, food there, party here, party there, eat here, eat there. If I ain't careful enough, I might easily gain weight already. But I always believe in self-control, and if I get really much, I starve myself for the next meal (SO UNHEALTHY).